It's been a strange few weeks as of late. I want to be a glass is half full kind of girl but mine has soured milk in it and it's making me look over my shoulder and say, "hey, who put this here? This isn't good".
Started with best friends of ours announcing they were divorcing. Felt like a sucker punch to the gut. Totally didn't see that coming. Just decided they'd be best friends to one another but just wanted different things. No hard feelings. Just wanted to move on. My heart is heavy and grieving for the loss. The first one of the week.
The second loss came days later. Do you remember not long ago, back here...where I was sharing with you that we had a friend we were helping to care for with terminal cancer? His wife was not / is not well. She really didn't have the capacity to advocate for his care in the end and we tried to get social workers to intervene as they could to make sure he was comfortable and cared for properly. I'm starting to think maybe his wife has Alzheimer's because her behavior has been erratic and mean and down right, kind of crazy. She either has called here to yell at my husband about silly things like, the fact he didn't gas her car up (that still had half a tank full) on a Sunday afternoon like she wanted. He offered to come at 8am the next morning to do it but that just made her mad. But she has called here at least twice to yell at him, curse him and then hang up on him for not coming right when she called saying she can't depend on him for anything. He'd call our friend and say, "Good Morning, this is Mr. Preston..." and "click!". So odd since she has doted over our family for years and years until her husband got sick. And like a switch, she just turned on everyone. She's hung up on neighbors calling to ask how her husband was, responding with "ain't none of your damn business" and then "click". She started to become very unpredictable with her temper with our friend. Nursing staff was worried. I know she must be scared about being alone and her own failing health but she made it very difficult in the end. She had every nurse on pins and needles and cursed at all of them and at her husband every time she saw him - he'd call our home everyday upset, in pain, and crying for help. It just wasn't the way you want the end of your life to be. I think we helped him have some bright spots and gave him love and attention he needed since he had no children of his own. We made him part of our family.
The one night about 3 weeks ago, when we just decided after supper to go and see our friend and take the kids turned out to be a good decision. He was still up and on his feet. I wrote this after that night...
"One of the peas said in a whisper when we were there last night, “can I ask Bob if I can give him a hug?”. The gardener said, I think he’d like that. Go ahead. And so she asked, “can I give you a hug Bob?”. He said of course and they both got tears in their eyes. One of them 9 years old, the other almost 90. I know there’s a heaven but the real human part of me can’t help but to still be frightened about the end."
Bob went on to heaven yesterday morning. He was a good man, a good friend, and our family will miss him.
The first thing one of the peas said to me when I told them, "Mama, that's a good thing, right? He's in heaven now and he's all better and happy. Right? This is a good thing, right?". Comforting words from a 9 year old whose next sentiment was, "Does this mean NOW we can play with his wheelchair?". It's been sitting in our garage for the last 2 weeks since we took him to the hospital and they've been begging to sit in it and push each other around.
God's peace Bob. Your work here is done. You did good. Rest and be well. We will see you soon.